short for richard…

It happened.  My 9 year old came home from school and asked “what does dick mean?”

I was a little taken aback (to say the least) and ask “why?” (In my head it was, WHY? WHY? WHY?)

So, now my 9 year old daughter wants to know what a dick is.  Ugh.

I go into a long explanation about how it could be, in fact, someone’s name.  Or, it could be a naughty name for a penis.  I also ask her why she wants to know, did something happen at school today, blah, blah, blah (I am long-winded with my explanations, we even sometimes consult a dictionary to give the precise meaning of a word.  In this case, a dictionary was not necessary)…

She said that Charlie (a little boy in her class) said “My grandpa’s name is Dick.  Do you know what that means?“  My daughter said “No.”  The teacher heard Charlie’s question and he got in trouble.  She said he was crying and saying “Well, it’s my grandpa’s name!”  So, now my kid wants to know what all the fuss is about… Thanks, Charlie!

Then she said “I already asked daddy in the car after school.”

(I guess she is double checking our answers.   I need to remember this.)

So, I asked her what daddy’s answer was.  Without a beat, she said:

“Short for Richard.  Bad name for penis.”

(Note: I learned something today,  not every question needs a lengthy explanation)

 

My oldest daughter wanted to know where babies came from, so I read “It’s Not the Stork” to her.  Read about that here.

before i go to sleep…

I just finished reading another great book!  A real page turner, if you will.  The book is called Before I go to Sleep by S. J. Watson.  I’ve had this on my “to-read” list for a while.  Recently, a fellow blogger (thank you, aworkingmum!) recommended a website called Bookbub.com.  This site shows many book deals and book freebies from a variety of different sites.  I found this book for $2.99 (yay!).

This was a quick, easy read.  I found myself thinking about it when I wasn’t reading it… wondering what was going to happen next.  Love it when I find a book like that!  I just started it yesterday… that should tell you something!

Goodreads describes the book:

‘As I sleep, my mind will erase everything I did today. I will wake up tomorrow as I did this morning. Thinking I’m still a child. Thinking I have a whole lifetime of choice ahead of me …’ Memories define us. So what if you lost yours every time you went to sleep? Your name, your identity, your past, even the people you love—all forgotten overnight. And the one person you trust may only be telling you half the story. Welcome to Christine’s life.

Please view “reading now” for current and past book postings.

the handmaid’s tale…

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood was an incredible book.  I read this book in 2 days — I couldn’t put it down.  Now, I can’t stop thinking about it.

This would be a really great choice for a book club discussion:

What would you do if you were a handmaid, a wife, an aunt?  Or even, a commander?

Goodreads mentions the book as “funny” but I did not find one humorous thing about the book, so take their synopsis with a grain of salt.  Horrifying, yes.  Funny, not so much.

Goodreads describes the book:

Offred is a Handmaid in the Republic of Gilead. She may leave the home of the Commander and his wife once a day to walk to food markets whose signs are now pictures instead of words because women are no longer allowed to read. She must lie on her back once a month and pray that the Commander makes her pregnant, because in an age of declining fertility, Offred and the other Handmaids are valued only if their ovaries are viable. Offred can remember the years before, when she lived and made love with her husband, Luke; when she played with and protected her daughter; when she had a job, money of her own, and access to knowledge. But all of that is gone now…

Funny, unexpected, horrifying, and altogether convincing, The Handmaid’s Tale is at once scathing satire, dire warning, and tour de force.

Please view “reading now” for current and past book postings.

gone girl…

I just finished reading “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn.  Wow.

I could not have predicted the ending of this book.  I guessed my entire way through reading… about what will come next.

I was never correct.

I love that Goodreads actually describes this book as “unputdownable”  Did they make up a new word just for this book?

The author has two more books that are on my to read list called “Sharp Objects” and “Dark Places.”  After reading “Gone Girl” those two titles are moving to the top of my list!

Goodreads describes the book:

Marriage can be a real killer.

One of the most critically acclaimed suspense writers of our time, New York Times bestseller Gillian Flynn takes that statement to its darkest place in this unputdownable masterpiece about a marriage gone terribly, terribly wrong.

The Chicago Tribune proclaimed that her work “draws you in and keeps you reading with the force of a pure but nasty addiction.” Gone Girl’s toxic mix of sharp-edged wit and deliciously chilling prose creates a nerve-fraying thriller that confounds you at every turn.”

With her razor-sharp writing and trademark psychological insight, Gillian Flynn delivers a fast-paced, devilishly dark, and ingeniously plotted thriller that confirms her status as one of the hottest writers around.

the paris wife…

The Paris Wife by Paula McLain was a wonderful book.

This is a fictional book written from the perspective of Hadley, Ernest Hemingway’s wife.

I actually felt as if I was in her shoes and feeling her ups and downs with her.  This is a beautifully written book and I highly recommend it!

*** On a side note… I prefer to write very short book reviews.  Basically, if I recommend reading it (or not).  I often read book reviews that give too much of the story away.  I would like the story unfold as I’m reading.

Goodreads describes the book:

Chicago, 1920: Hadley Richardson is a quiet twenty-eight-year-old who has all but given up on love and happiness—until she meets Ernest Hemingway and her life changes forever. Following a whirlwind courtship and wedding, the pair set sail for Paris, where they become the golden couple in a lively and volatile group—the fabled “Lost Generation”—that includes Gertrude Stein, Ezra Pound, and F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald.

Though deeply in love, the Hemingways are ill-prepared for the hard-drinking and fast-living life of Jazz Age Paris, which hardly values traditional notions of family and monogamy. Surrounded by beautiful women and competing egos, Ernest struggles to find the voice that will earn him a place in history, pouring all the richness and intensity of his life with Hadley and their circle of friends into the novel that will become The Sun Also Rises. Hadley, meanwhile, strives to hold on to her sense of self as the demands of life with Ernest grow costly and her roles as wife, friend, and muse become more challenging. Despite their extraordinary bond, they eventually find themselves facing the ultimate crisis of their marriage—a deception that will lead to the unraveling of everything they’ve fought so hard for.

A heartbreaking portrayal of love and torn loyalty, The Paris Wife is all the more poignant because we know that, in the end, Hemingway wrote that he would rather have died than fallen in love with anyone but Hadley.

it’s not the stork…

Recently, my friend Claire posted about talking to her kids about the birds and the bees.  (She’s hilarious, by the way, check out her blog here)

She got me thinking about when I talked to my oldest daughter about sex.

I was pregnant with my third baby and she kept asking how I got pregnant and how did the baby get in my tummy.

I always want to give my kids complete information and my thoughts are… when they ask about something, they are ready to know the answer.

Not quite knowing what to say or how to say it… I bought a book.  I bought a book called “It’s NOT the Stork.”

It was a cartoon book about sex.

Correction… it was a graphic, complete and detailed cartoon book about sex.

My mom stood at the bookstore and helped me pick out the book.  Her advice to me was “keep a straight face and keep reading.”

I bought the book home and read it to my daughter.  I took my mother’s advice and kept a straight face and kept reading.

(Note: I had NO idea why she gave me that advice until I actually started reading the book to my daughter.  I didn’t know if I was going to cry or burst out laughing.  Good advice.)

While I was reading (and trying my hardest not to laugh/cry) I could see my daughter’s face out of the corner of my eye.  No exaggeration – her mouth was hanging open in shock.

I kept reading.  I kept a straight face.

And, I hear “Wait. Wait. Wait.  Did you and daddy DO that… THREE TIMES????”   (We were about to have a total of three kids… Yes, we did it THREE TIMES and three times only).

I just said “Yes.” (Honesty, going out the window).

She seemed to recover and I kept reading.  We got to the part about sperm with cartoon pictures of giant sperm with smiley faces.  Again, I see her face out of the corner of my eye… shocked expression again.

Then, I hear “What happens to the thousands of sperm that don’t fertilize the egg?”

I said “They die.”

And, she said “You have DEAD sperm in you?”

We stopped reading the book after that.  It wasn’t my choice…

She said she didn’t want to hear anymore.

favorite wife…

I just finished reading “Favorite Wife: Escape From Polygamy.”

I couldn’t put this book down.  When I wasn’t reading it – I was talking about or thinking about it.  It was haunting.

The girls in this cult were raised to marry and bear children as teenagers.  They were raised to be part of polygamist marriages.  They didn’t know any differently.

This the story of Susan Ray Schmidt.  Her story, in her own words, of her marriage (sixth wife), her life, and her escape from the polygamist lifestyle.

I’m so glad I read this book.  I would highly recommend it.

Goodreads describes the book:

She had no choice in the matter-none of the girls did. Her mission was to give birth to and raise many children in devoted service to a shared husband. Susan was fifteen years old when she became the sixth wife of Verlan LeBaron- one of the leaders of a rogue Mormon cult engaged in a blood feud with his brother that, from 1972 to 1988, claimed up to two dozen lives and led one prosecutor to call their descendants a Lord of the Flies generation. In this gripping and eloquent book, Susan Ray Schmidt tells the story of growing up on the inside and of her ultimate escape. Delving more deeply into this mysterious underworld than any previous work, Favorite Wife is a powerful account of the affairs of the heart, coming of age under exceptional circumstances, and the tough choices that are sometimes painfully necessary to preserve human dignity.

If you’ve read this book I’d love to hear your comments.

Check out “reading now…” to see what’s next on my reading list.

the grass is not greener…

I didn’t do it.  I couldn’t do it.

I did not keep the Samsung Galaxy Note. 

I woke up at 4:30 am today and couldn’t get back to sleep.  Finally, I woke up my husband to let him know that the Samsung was going back.  I had to have my iPhone back.

I’m sure he really appreciated that news at 4:30 am, but I had to deliver it.  I felt so much better after making that decision.

I was at the AT&T store this morning before they opened – waiting on their door step for the doors to open.

For the mere cost of a $35 restocking fee – I gladly handed over my enormous mistake.

Since I already gave my daughter my old iPhone and I would have completely traumatized her had I taken it back (yes, traumatized)… I had to purchase a new one.

I have NEVER been so happy with a purchase in my whole life.  I have my phone back.  I know how to use it and it was the correct size and dimensions.

I am thrilled to have my phone back (and I’m not exaggerating).  Thrilled.  I should not have strayed from my beloved iPhone.

It is true what they say…

The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence.

enormousness…

I’ve had my eye on a new cell phone.  It’s called Samsung Galaxy Note.  It’s big.  Really big.

I have only looked at, in person, at the Best Buy store.

Inside Best Buy, with it’s enormous ceilings and utter vastness, the phone looked of average size.  Big, but not too big.

I had an older iPhone, but wanted something with a bigger screen.

So, yesterday I had a lunch date with my husband (and my 5 year old) and I mentioned to him that I liked the new Samsung Galaxy Note cell phone and he said it’s a great phone and he would go get it for me.  Right away.  Immediately.

(Note: My husband is obsessed with electronics.  You only have to mention the word “cell phone” or “laptop” and he’s on board – no need to try to convince him of anything.  Mention the words “new shoes” or “new rug” and he always says we don’t need it). 

He went right over to the AT&T store and upgraded my phone.

I didn’t see the phone until I got home from work.

My house is not the size of a Best Buy store.  So, when I saw the size of the phone in my house… with it’s normal sized ceilings and without the vastness of a Best Buy – I burst out laughing.

It.  Is.  Huge.

I gave my old iPhone to my oldest daughter already, so there is no turning back now.

I am going to try to love my new cell phone and embrace the enormousness (it’s a word, I double checked).

Photograph is of the Samsung Galaxy Note next to the iPhone.

better to fold and put away…

The book I am reading now just made me laugh out loud (lol-literally)!

This is the title of the chapter that made me crack up:

Laundry: Better to fold and put away than to take only what you need from the dryer.

I don’t normally stop in the middle of reading a book to make a post – but this book is turning out to be quite good. And, quite funny!

Completely unexpected.

I need a little sign to hang above the washer and dryer. Or, more specifically – the dining room table, where the clean laundry ends up until I fold it and put it away.

Instead of helping me with the laundry duties… my entire household picks what they need out of the dryer (or the dining room table) and goes about their day. Nobody stops to think about helping fold and put away the laundry.

While I know I have a slightly messy house (read about it here) I am willing to wager that I am not the only mom and wife that encounters this laundry issue.

If you keep a to read list please add “The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man’s Quest to Be a Better Husband.”

I think every husband should start a Journal of Best Practices.

And, let’s start the journal with…

Laundry: Better to fold and put away than to take only what you need from the dryer.

Brilliant.